I know I’ve told this story before, but my abusive ex refused to let me take birth control. I was on the pill until he found them in my purse.
I went to the Student Health Center—they were completely unhelpful, choosing to lecture me about the importance of safe sex (recommending condoms) instead of actually listening to my problem.
Then I went to Planned Parenthood. The Nurse Practitioner took one look at my fading bruises and stopped the exam. She called in the doctor. The doctor came in and simply asked me: “Are you ready to leave him?” When I denied that I was being abused, she didn’t argue with me. She just asked me what I needed. I said I need a birth control method that my boyfriend couldn’t detect. She recommended a few options and we decided on Depo.
When I told her that my boyfriend read my emails and listened to my phone messages and was known to follow me, she suggested to do the Depo injections at off hours when the clinic was normally closed. She made a note in my chart and instructed the front desk never to leave messages for me—instead, she programmed her personal cell phone number into my phone under the name “Nora”. She told me she would call me to schedule my appointments; she wouldn’t leave a message, but I should call her back when I was able to.
And that was it. No judgment. No lecture. She walked me to the door and told me to call her day or night if I needed anything. That she lived 5 blocks from campus and would come get me. That I wasn’t alone. That she just wanted me to be safe.
I never called her to come to my rescue. But I have no doubt that she would have come if I had called. She kept me on Depo for a year, giving me those monthly injections in secret, helping me prevent a desperately unwanted pregnancy.
I cannot thank Planned Parenthood enough for the work they do.
1: Full name 2: Zodiac sign 3: 3 Fears 4: 3 things I love 5: 4 turns on 6: 4 turns off 7: My best friend 8: Sexual orientation 9: My best first date 10: How tall am I 11: What do I miss 12: What time was I born 13: Favourite color 14: Do I have a crush 15: Favourite quote 16: Favourite place 17: Favourite food 18: Do I use sarcasm 19: What am I listening to right now 20: First thing I notice in new person 21: Shoe size 22: Eye color 23: Hair color 24: Favourite style of clothing 25: Ever done a prank call? 26: What colour of underwear I’m wearing now? 27: Meaning behind my URL 28: Favourite movie 29: Favourite song 30: Favourite band 31: How I feel right now 32: Someone I love 33: My current relationship status 34: My relationship with my parents 35: Favourite holiday 36: Tattoos and piercing i have 37: Tattoos and piercing i want 38: The reason I joined Tumblr 39: Do I and my last ex hate each other? 40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? 41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? 42: When did I last hold hands? 43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? 44: Have I shaved your legs in the past three days? 45: Where am I right now? 46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? 47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? 48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? 49: Am I excited for anything? 50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? 51: How often do I wear a fake smile? 52: When was the last time I hugged someone? 53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? 54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? 55: What is something I disliked about today? 56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? 57: What do I think about most? 58: What’s my strangest talent? 59: Do I have any strange phobias? 60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? 61: What was the last lie I told? 62: Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online? 63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? 64: Do I believe in magic? 65: Do I believe in luck? 66: What’s the weather like right now? 67: What was the last book I’ve read? 68: Do I like the smell of gasoline? 69: Do I have any nicknames? 70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? 71: Do I spend money or save it? 72: Can I touch my nose with a tounge? 73: Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me? 74: Favourite animal? 75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? 76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is? 77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? 78: How can you win my heart? 79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? 80: What is my favorite word? 81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr 82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? 83: Do I have any relatives in jail? 84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? 85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? 86: What is my current desktop picture? 87: Had sex? 88: Bought condoms? 89: Gotten pregnant? 90: Failed a class? 91: Kissed a boy? 92: Kissed a girl? 93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? 94: Had job? 95: Left the house without my wallet? 96: Bullied someone on the internet? 97: Had sex in public? 98: Played on a sports team? 99: Smoked weed? 100: Did drugs? 101: Smoked cigarettes? 102: Drank alcohol? 103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? 104: Been overweight? 105: Been underweight? 106: Been to a wedding? 107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? 108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? 109: Been outside my home country? 110: Gotten my heart broken? 111: Been to a professional sports game? 112: Broken a bone? 113: Cut myself? 114: Been to prom? 115: Been in airplane? 116: Fly by helicopter? 117: What concerts have I been to? 118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? 119: Learned another language? 120: Wore make up? 121: Lost my virginity before I was 18? 122: Had oral sex? 123: Dyed my hair? 124: Voted in a presidential election? 125: Rode in an ambulance? 126: Had a surgery? 127: Met someone famous? 128: Stalked someone on a social network? 129: Peed outside? 130: Been fishing? 131: Helped with charity? 132: Been rejected by a crush? 133: Broken a mirror? 134: What do I want for birthday? 135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names? 136: Was I named after anyone? 137: Do I like my handwriting? 138: What was my favourite toy as a child? 139: Favourite Tv Show? 140: Where do I want to live when older? 141: Play any musical instrument? 142: One of my scars, how did I get it? 143: Favourite pizza toping? 144: Am I afraid of the dark? 145: Am I afraid of heights? 146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? 147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? 148: What I’m really bad at 149: What my greatest achievments are 150: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me 151: What I’d do if I won in a lottery 152: What do I like about myself 153: My closest Tumblr friend 154: Something I fantasise about 155: Any question you’d like
“To cis women, I think this sometimes can look a bit like ‘nit picking’. “Of course trans women can come”, we sometimes think. “After all, it says ‘all women’. Why wouldn’t that include trans women?”. I’ve thought that myself in the past. But, for me, that response comes from a place of privilege. We think it’s not an issue only because *it’s not an issue we have to worry about* (which is almost the definition of privilege). We’ve never have to think about what it might be like to be at an march or a conference or a feminist group meeting and suddenly be made to feel unwelcome or unsafe because of transphobia. We’ve never had to put up with conversations about horrific rapes and murders of our sisters being derailed into debates as to the validity of our existence. We’ve never had to feel the slap-in-the-face of events signed “women-born-women only”. We don’t bang our heads against the wall time and time again trying to bring this point home to people.”—International Women’s Day, Million Women Rise, and trans inclusion (via acolyteoftheflux)
“A three-day-old human embryo is a collection of 150 cells called a blastocyst. There are, for the sake of comparison, more than 100,000 cells in the brain of a fly. If our concern is about suffering in this universe, it is rather obvious that we should be more concerned about killing flies than about killing three-day-old human embryos… Many people will argue that the difference between a fly and a three-day-old human embryo is that a three-day-old human embryo is a potential human being. Every cell in your body, given the right manipulations, every cell with a nucleus is now a potential human being. Every time you scratch your nose, you’ve committed a holocaust of potential human beings… Let’s say we grant it that every three-day-old human embryo has a soul worthy of our moral concern. First of all, embryos at this stage can split into identical twins. Is this a case of one soul splitting into two souls? Embryos at this stage can fuse into a chimera. What has happened to the extra human soul in such a case? This is intellectually indefensible, but it’s morally indefensible given that these notions really are prolonging scarcely endurable misery of tens of millions of human beings, and because of the respect we accord religious faith, we can’t have this dialogue in the way that we should. I submit to you that if you think the interests of a three-day-old blastocyst trump the interests of a little girl with spinal cord injuries or a person with full-body burns, your moral intuitions have been obscured by religious metaphysics.”—Sam Harris, on stem cell research. (via cocknbull)
I know that you have faced so much prejudice and discrimination lately for your gender identity. I’m sure you must face so much of it in your daily lives, as well, which would explain your emotional reactions online.
I make it a point in my life to ally with those who are marginalized or whose voices are not being heard. It has come to my attention that the cisgender community claims to be one of these groups.
To become a better ally to those whose gender identity fits the gender that was assigned to them at birth, I would like to know more about the cisgender experience. Based on my experience as a trans* guy, there are a few questions that I have about your daily life so that I can be a more informed advocate for the needs of the cisgender community. Answer these questions as if IRL, not based on your internet interactions.
1) When did you realize that you were cisgender? What was that realization like for you? When did you begin to identify with the cisgender community?
2) What was your coming out process like? Who did you come out to first?
3) What were some of the reactions from friends, family, and others close to you in your life (IRL) when you came out as cis? Were there people whose support (or lack thereof) surprised you?
4) Has anyone ever questioned your sexual orientation based on your cisgender identity or asked how your girlfriend/boyfriend/partner/spouse identified based on your gender identity?
5) Share some of the most ridiculous questions you’ve gotten from others who were uninformed about what it meant to be cisgender (again, IRL). I bet at least one stranger has stopped you on the street to ask you about your genitals, haven’t they?
6) What has the medical aspect of your cisgender identity been like? Did you have trouble finding a therapist—or even a primary care physician—that was sensitive to your needs as a person who is cisgender?
7) Are you out as cisgender to people at work/school? Do they call you by your preferred name and pronouns? On average, how many times in a 24 hour period do you usually correct someone about your name or pronouns (again, like all of these questions, IRL, please)?
8) Have you ever had to explain the situation of your gender identity during a job interview due to incongruity between your documents that identify you and the name you use or put at the top of your resume/CV? Have you ever worried that revealing your cisgender identity upfront might sabotage your chances of employment?
9) How much money have you spent on items that help reduce your gender dysphoria? How often have you had to borrow money from family or friends in order to obtain the items you need to stay secure and happy?
10) And finally how often would you say, on a daily basis, IRL, do people throw slurs at you for your cisgender identity (examples: “cissie,” “cis scum”)?
Folks who are cis, I know that your lives day-to-day outside of Tumblr are an uphill battle to have your cisgender identity recognized and validated. I admit, as of right now, I can think of very little that people who are cisgender face IRL by way of having to defend their gender identity. But please, correct me if I’m wrong!
but you should leave your life behind and come with me in my bigger on the inside box and we can make out except later i'm going to marry your daughter because time is wibbly wobbly and shit also i'm going to break your heart in a million ways and i have more angst than a pre pubescent girl
“Unfortunately it looks like the CeCe McDonald case is going to trail starting on April 30l. District Attorney Michael Freeman has been reluctant to drop the charges in this case as he has done with other white cis people in the same situation for some reason..”—